A Pizza My Life: A Day In The Life of Top Dog
Today I was in the office, shuffling papers, stuffing down a pizza (naturally) when the telephone rang, most inconvenient!
"Reception to Top Dog, we have Jenkins in reception for you."
"Grrrrr" said Top Dog, wiping cheese from his mouth, "let him in. "
"Top Dog!" panted Jenkins, quite clearly flustered and out of breath, beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. "Top Dog! Sir! The figures you required, well quite frankly, they just don't add up! Who is this Mr Naveed, whose name keeps cropping up time and time again? It says here that we have an outstanding tab set up to him, and as of December 2008 we now owe him £1,000!"
Top Dog merely shrugged. "Rubbish, Wall to Wall Rubbish" exclaimed Top Dog, disgruntled and still eyeing up the remains of his pizza from the corner of his eye....
"And the Jenkins Towers..." continued Jenkins, used to Top Dog's sudden outbursts of rage by now, "They have all collapsed! The report here states that the Jenkins Towers, well, that they were built with flour!!"
"Rubbish, Wall to Wall Rubbish"
"Top Dog, I can see that I'm not getting through to you the extent of this calamity. I'm sorry but I just don't understand. I've been pulling my hair out in worry, I can't sleep. I don't know what to do (dramatic pause) I'm afraid I'm going to have to declare myself bankrupt. Would you be able to do anything to help me out?" dum dum dum dum duuuuuummm......
Top Dog and The Jenkins File
"Come in...."
"Uuuum....Deep Pan, Pepperoni...."
"Your Fired...."
After a stressful day in the office, nothing quite beats a badger head massage
Bliss
To Be Continued.......
COMING FALL 2009:
TOP DOG THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY PART 2:
FROM GANGSTER TO WINE WAITER
